"Basically, it’s a Formula One simulator. It’s a seat, steering wheel and pedals, and then you just plug in your laptop with the F1 computer programme, sit down and play racing. It sits on the floor in our dining room – much to my wife’s annoyance – and that’s my relaxation for when the 24/7 care gets a little bit too much. I put the headphones on and off I jolly well go.
It’s my wife’s fault really because for my 40th birthday she bought me a track day at Snetterton race circuit and I got the bug from there. For the rest of my career as an electronics engineer, every time I won an award – which was almost annually – I would blow it on a race-track day-out.
I’ve had single-seat car experiences at Snetterton, Silverstone and Brands Hatch. One of the more recent track days was in a rather ridiculous 500 horsepower 4 wheel drive Lamborghini Gallardo, which was very powerful down the Hangar Straight at Silverstone. I’ve got a lovely photograph of me going round Stowe Corner at the end of the Hangar Straight and the car can be seen leaning. If you know anything about Lamborghinis, to get it to lean like that you’ve got to be shifting a bit. So I’m a bit of a petrolhead. I find it takes my mind away from things.
These simulators are much, much more accurate than in the old days. The steering wheel has force feedback so it kicks in your hands when you go off the track. When the season’s on I try and do the circuit that they’re racing at that weekend. It makes me enjoy it more when I’m watching on the box.
The best car I’ve ever had was a Fiesta ST3, which was very sporty, 180 horsepower, and just about slow enough for my wife not to keep screaming at me. But unfortunately coming home from a Stepping Out event at Perry Green, the Henry Moore place two years ago, I had an argument with a white transit van, and not surprisingly the white transit van won. My car was a write-off.
My sister-in-law, who’s a retired GP, suggested that 66 it was probably time for a more geriatric car. So I bought another Fiesta, but this one’s a 1.2 gutless wonder, 70 horsepower – I think I’ve driven motorbikes with more power than that. But it gets us there and keeps my wife quiet. Our son has got a Fiesta as well and his one is only one-litre, but it’s turbo-charged so he’s got over 100 horsepower to play with. He borrowed mine once and he said, "I’m never taking that car of yours on the motorway again. It took me ages to pass juggernauts."
I do enjoy getting out and walking. Until recently I did a thing with Hertfordshire County Council where you look after an area. You check that all the footpaths are clear and there’s no vegetation impeding walkers and the stiles, gates and bridges are unbroken. They give you a pair of secateurs chop back the vegetation. I did that for about three years, but unfortunately my wife, on top of her existing ailments and mobility issues, has recently been diagnosed with early-stage Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia. Therefore I had to give up the footpath thing as I didn’t want to be out of the house too many mornings.
Being organised is my recommended stress relieve tool for any carer. I manage Katie’s medication which she takes three times a day and I have alarms on my phone to remind us. I’ve got all her medical information in a filing cabinet that I liberated when they shut down my research lab so I have evidence of what’s been changed over the years. I enjoy cooking for us both at home and watching Gogglebox together is a favourite thing. We particularly enjoy the comments from Giles and Mary.
Finally, the best bit of advice I was ever given is: “Don’t be bamboozled by arrogant doctors or psychiatrists. You are the experts in your partner’s condition. Stand your ground.” We have extra help four times a week with extra hours on Thursdays that gives me long enough to do the weekly shop and maybe get over to Hatfield Forest, have a walk round, and get a bit of time away from the house."